a story book life?

You know that cliche analogy that compares our lives to that of a chapter book? The many events that unfold in our lives can be likened to new chapters, filled with exciting adventures, new beginnings, tragedies, unexpected events, life, loss, despair and hope.

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I think this analogy works quite well, and over the past years, I’ve found myself starting several new chapters along the way. For the most part, I’ve been “writing” my chapter book since early adulthood ( well co-writing… I mean, God is the ultimate author and I’m doing my best to follow His plan). I’ve played the leading lady in this exciting novel of life, and generally speaking, my decisions have dictated the direction of the plot and adventure. It’s been a great and wonderful journey, and I’m so happy with the way things have unfolded for the most part….

But what about the chapters that we didn’t choose for?

What about those events that are thrust upon our story, that we never asked for, never planned on, never wanted? Those chapters that completely mess up the plot that we had anticipated and hoped for?

Of course, Covid would be the easiest example at the moment. But I also mean those personal crises that we all face throughout our lifetime. The moments that bring us to our knees, have us questioning God and His plans, have us searching for answers yet finding none.

I’m in one of those chapters at the moment, and it’s been extremely hard to accept. I’m going through a physical diagnose that I never imagined, which is causing me immense pain and discomfort most hours of the day. It’s something that I never dreamed would ” happen to me” and something that makes me angry at times. I’m sure if I asked you reading this, you could think of a time in your life that was similar. Perhaps it wasn’t physical but emotional, social, psychological etc.

So what now? Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer. I think that sometimes in life there are chapters that we just can’t disappear from. Where we can’t devise some amazing escape plan, because we have to live and fight through this chapter to the end.. .I’m trying to stay hopeful, stay faithful and stay positive. I do know that God is in control, even though it feels like I’m slipping from His hands at times. I know He doesn’t want our suffering, and that this pain can be redemptive and it can bear an eternal fruit.

To all of you suffering right now: I know I can’t take it away. Nor can anyone else. But I want to validate what you are going through and say that I’m sorry you are going through this. Remember that you ARE a beloved son or daughter of the King. You don’t have to force yourself to be happy when your hurting, but keep the hope and remember that this too, shall pass.

Much love,

Jenny

outer or inner self.

Suffering.

This one word manages to invoke so many different thoughts, emotions and fears in my heart (perhaps yours, too?) No one really wants to suffer. We all want lives that are happy, healthy, carefree and joyful!

Yet try as we may, we all come face to face with suffering at one point or another. Some will hide it, some will highlight it, some will run away from it… but suffering is apart of our broken humanity. ***But please don’t run away now- this post has a happy ending! As do all the best of stories. I want to share some encouragement I received from the Lord. Something that has lifted my spirits in a season of suffering.

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After getting pregnant (praise the Lord) I had to go off most of my eczema medications. As a result, my skin has officially gone bonkers ( but seriously, it’s been horrible). It’s either red, open and inflamed, or dry as the desert. One thing a lot of people don’t realize, is how debilitating eczema can be. It’s not just a little itchy skin (at least for me and many others), it’s an insatiable itch that can be all consuming at times. It means waking up in the night from scratching, constant moisturizing, physical pain, and a lot of emotional burdens from feeling and being inflamed/swollen/red/itchy/worn down……

I’ve been really trying to grow in trust and faith throughout this trying time! During adoration this past week, I remembered a verse that in the past has brought me a lot of peace when it comes to physical suffering. I had my bible and thought, ” it would be so great to find that verse tonight”. I flipped to a page in Corinthians, and it wasn’t on that page, so I turned one page back and sure enough, there was the verse, waiting for me! The Holy Spirit had definitely guided me to this place, because like many good Catholics, I know the verse but have NO IDEA where it is located. This is what it said,

” So we do not lose heart. Though the outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day” – 2 Corinthians 4:16

Isn’t this beautiful! When we feel our outer selves wasting away ( physical sufferings and burdens we carry on/in our bodies), we can be reassured of the fact that Christ wants to strengthen us and our spirit. He does not want our inner self to waste away, fall into despair, feel rejected or forgotten.

No!! Christ wants us to hope, and “not loose heart”! Christ is near to us in our suffering, even when we feel alone or frustrated. We have the opportunity to invite Christ in to our sufferings. To be vulnerable, open and honest about the crosses we carry. To ask him for his help and presence in our pain. To unite with Christ on the Cross each and every day.

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Although this doesn’t “solve” the problem of suffering, or even take away my pain (or yours), it does remind me that our suffering can become life-giving. We can ask Jesus to use these hard times for someone else’s good (spouse,child,friend,world) and trust in this mystery of redemptive suffering. This is not an easy path, but I know the Lord sees our efforts, sufferings and offerings, and will reward us- either here on earth, or hopefully in heaven one day!